If you're robbing a bank, and your pants suddenly fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and to let the hostages laugh too, because some on, life is funny.

People were always talking about how mean this guy was who lived on our block. But I decided to go see for myself. I went to his door, but he said he wasn't the mean guy, the mean guy lived in that house over there. "No, you stupid idiot," I said, "that's my house."

Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?

Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half? Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way.

I'll never forget the time we were at the beach and we buried Uncle Joe in the sand. Boy, did we get in trouble! In fact, we got arrested. It turns out you can't bury people at the beach. Only at the cemetery.





  posted by Unknown @ 8:45 ip.